'Without darkness, there is no light'

As a result of being such a mean person, when I am nice to people, the value is so much more substantial. A fairly significant event that displays this is when I was in year three and a girl called Lindsay and I were playing on the playground at lunch. The school I went to had a wooden play ground and there were many gaps in the equipment between where the timber had been drilled in. I remember on this particular day, we were on the very highest part of the castle like playground discussing birthstones because Lindsay had a ring that represented hers. Suddenly, she dropped her ring and after ricocheting of one piece of wood after the other, it finally hit the ground which was covered by timber all around. Lindsay began crying and I didn't know what to do. So I offered to try and get it. All I recall is her thanking me so much and talking about how out of character it was for me to do this. The funny part of the story was when I got my arm stuck in between the two panels of wood and the staffroom kitchen was raided for butter to get it out. That's besides the point though.

Like the impact of my kindness when I was known as someone who expels quite the opposite traits, the occurrence of good things in this world can have the same effect. Because the world has so much chaos and bad things going on, when something good happens, it's almost like a miracle to some people.

Somewhat like 'without darkness there is no light and without sorrow there is no joy' - We never truly appreciate the significance of something positive if we don't know the impact of something negative. I remember feeling such a sense of goodness when I eventually got the ring out and the school gave me one of those 'courageous keys' from the keys of success (obviously not enough to sway me though)

Often people tell me that they never know whether I'm being serious or sarcastic when I compliment them or do a nice gesture and this is also evident in the things we experience. We're always told to see the wider context of life and the events we endure. Sometimes, we find it hard to see past the fact that we are going through such a crappy experience and consider that maybe it has the potential to be a good one. Just like how my comments can sound sarcastic but actually they have good intentions.

Perhaps we are just over-complicating life or perhaps we are under-estimating the concept of life but either way, the value of good things compensates the negative things in life because of the negative things in life. Some may say that we shouldn't have to experience those negative experiences at all but I believe it's necessary in being able to appreciate the positives. Life would get boring without that.

Facebook; more like Usebook

Facebook is a mysterious and wonderful phenomenon. At least it was before I started year eleven/VCE and it became my number one stop in regards to procrastinating. At least once a week, I open my friends list with the intentions to delete the people who I couldn't really give a shit about. The 'friends' who post a ridiculous amount of 'selfies' with the comment 'I'm saaaa ugly' or the people who plague my newsfeed with over emotional and overly bearing status' consisting of 'YY duz lyf haff to b so shit. I just wnt 2 b happy but NO! u hve 2 cum screw it up. I dont fink I can live N E more. I juss wnt 2 dye' - Yet every time I open that list, I click straight back out of it.

I try to justify it with the fact that I like stalking peoples' profile and I find the depressing status' and compliment fishing pictures entertaining but the truth is, our Facebook friends all have potential opportunities. In ten years time, when I may be running for parliament or trying to organise a school reunion, I can utilise everyone of my 698 'friends.' With every deletion of a profile, I lose an opportunity.
-That person I went to primary school with and haven't seen in 7 years, she could be the wife of the minister for immigration
- That person who posts over emotional status' could be a financial consultant who might just be able to tell me one day how I can get the most out of my money
- The one guy who keeps sending me a painful amount of game requests to play mob wars could be my future husband
the list goes on,

It's funny to think that I practically skipped the Myspace stage by joining Facebook early on. I joined for quite a funny reason actually. It was to have a 'pet dragon' on one of the stupid games that Facebook has. And as people started joining, my game playing decreased and my networking increased. Now, it has probably become the most valuable tool in my life. I don't have everyone of facebooks number but I do have their profile. I do have the ability to inbox them. When I had math problems, I'd ask the typical nerd friend. When I had english problems, I'd ask the girl who has the popular blog. When I had VCE management issues, I'd ask the girl who passed with an ENTER score of 97.4. The possibilities are never ending.

Whilst the majority of my friends, I do actually know as a result of moving around so much, there are those who I really should delete. Some I keep for entertainment because it's just so hilarious seeing people attempt to achieve something and fail or go around trying to fish for compliments. But I do know that one day, I will probably need that person who I haven't contacted in years to help me do something and I know this sounds like I'm just using society but that's how life works.

Happy Birthday to me.

'twinkle twinkle little star'

The concept of stars is a true reflection of humans.
When you gaze at stars and they twinkle, you cannot help but think 'stars are so beautiful' little do we consider that up close, they are fiery, raging balls of gas that wouldn't be 'so beautiful'. I feel as though the same thing can be seen in people. But instead of millions if not billions of kilometres between you and them, their façade is the thing that stops us from seeing the truth. People wear smiles and look 'so beautiful' but inside, they are sad or angry or lost. Stars are deceptive parts of nature. We only see and probably only ever will see the little 'twinkle twinkle little star' in the sky. I feel as though this is why we lose people emotionally. Because whilst stars perhaps feel undermined by us (metaphorically of course) - Maybe people want us to see through their barrier at their real pain?

Change happens when someone sees the first step

I'm not expecting you to read this and for it to change your life nor am I writing this for any other reason but to get my thoughts out and see what you guys think in relation to the subject.

The last few days, I have been thinking heaps about what dreams, hopes and aspirations I had as a child. I remember that I always had a weird way of choosing my future occupations.

I never aspired to be a 'princess' as Sarah means 'princess' and therefore I always regarded myself as one but when I was really little, I wanted to be a teacher. I think the core reason for this was solely because it was the first job I was ever aware of as I saw at least one almost everyday of my life after the age of 5. The second dream job I had was to be a psychologist. I think my heart was with helping people at the time (until every bitch in da hood started pissing me off. I honestly don't know how one can sit in a room and listen to other people complaining to them all day). my third job dream was definitely a flight attendant. There was such a huge novelty about jumping on a plane looking hot and pointing at the doors until someone told me 'There just a glorified waitress and you'd be wasting your life'. The words wasting your life are the reason that dream crashed pretty heavily. That's always been my worst nightmare. Wasting my life. I finally became content with a future career in year 6 and that was to become a nurse.

There's one constant in all these dreams (except the flight attendant haha) and that was 'make a difference'

Ever since I was little, I've wanted to change the world. I've wanted to do something that can really alter peoples perception on something or that can change peoples lives. I want to end world poverty, I want to give everybody a place they can call home and someone they can say loves them. I WANT TO CHANGE THE WORLD.

I sat in class the other day, staring out the window wondering what people who have infact changed the world were doing at my age. I always hear really inspirational stories. There's 2 that i remember quite strongly. A 9 year old boy who raised an incredible amount of money to purchase and build wells in africa and a 19 year old girl who started an orphanage for 17 children in uganda. I just wonder, obviously i'm a little past 9 but what was the girl doing at my age?

the majority of the population live in their own world. They work, they love their friends and family, they live for themselves and a closed off group of people. So what makes me any different from them? what makes my future any different from theirs. Will I be a part of the minority who does infact change the world and make a difference?