Sorry I haven’t been here in a while. I don’t even know who
I’m apologising to, there’s like what, 15 of you who are following this?
Anyway, the reason I haven’t been here for a while is
because on the forth of august, a 13 year old girl whom I coached in basketball
and soccer committed suicide. I wouldn’t say I haven’t been here because I
haven’t been coping but realistically, there’s nothing to cope with. I haven’t
been here because I have been deciphering the meaning to all this and suicide
itself. So with that said, this post is in memory of T.S.K. It
may ruffle a few feathers because it is such a rough and raw topic for many but
opinions are always personal and you don’t have to agree with them.
I think people who say suicide is selfish are selfish
themselves. We constantly pump into generations that there is always hope and
suicide is not the answer and obviously people wonder if it is but, what if it actually is? Or
is everyone who did truly deep down wonder that dead? Of course when someone dies it leaves
such a hole in not only many lives but many places. There’s places I can’t go
without thinking of the people I’ve lost. But the thing is, who are we to tell
someone that it will get better. One cannot understand everything occurring in another’s
life, so how can we make the assumption that it will actually get better?
I myself would only do such a thing if my curiosity about my
future was to subside, but I do not think I am done yet. Expecting someone to
continue living in such pain is a selfish act. Of all the people I know who
have succeeded at their attempts; they were all getting treatment for their
mental state. Maybe it doesn’t get better though?
Don’t get me wrong, this is not a post about how ‘awful my
life is’ or how if you are down, you should end it just incase it doesn’t get
better. Not at all! This is a post that comes from the alternative view on the
issue. When suicide occurs, psychologists
say there are numerous stages of response. The first being denial. The second
being sadness and the third being anger. How can one be angry at someone else
because they couldn’t cope with the issues they had. That too, is selfish,
I am not one to say that suicide is ALWAYS the right option,
but I think you know when you’re in an unbearable amount of pain and sometimes
the circumstances are entirely understandable.
I’m going the leave with this.
I’ve experienced some pretty traumatic events in my life. I
promise one day I will share in further detail what those are but for now it
isn’t appropriate. When I was in year 7, I attempted suicide numerous times. I
practically lived in a psych ward for a bit. I don’t regret it. I’m not ‘happy’
I lived because in all honesty, I don’t care. My life was awful at the time and
I didn’t think it would get better. Infact, I didn’t care if it would get
better, all I cared about was it not getting worse or platueing. Who are we as
people to decide when a person can or cannot live. The declaration of human
rights states that all humans ‘have a right to live’ so why don’t they have ‘a
right to die’
Life is our own and although with the ending of it, many are
impacted. Recovering from a death is possible, living in pain forever is not.
R.I.P Tess. I hope that wherever you are, you don’t regret
the decision and you are happy. We will all see you soon one day and you can
tell us all stories about how much mess you make up there. You were a beautiful
girl and it was an honour coaching you. Many people miss you, but I understand.
I hope your pain ended.
