Schoolies!

What a crazy week it has been.
I'm in bali on schoolies and so far, only half way through the trip, I've been snorkelling, bitten and humped by monkeys, rhohypnoled, brought a random boy home, ridden a motorbike, gone to a foam party and lost $70, almost bought a $30 pair of thongs because I got confused about money, had the most amazing food, gotten drunk most nights for less than ten dollars and swam in the pool because the temp has never dropped below 25 degrees.
It has been intense.
Although it has been amazing, it has come with some awful experiences too.
Firstly, I have pretty much drenched all my clothes in sweat. Been asked to sell my passport at least 4 times and been called a lobster at least 3. Oh, and slip something in about having my drink spiked in there.
But they're only bad things that affect me.

When you are in such a poverty stricken country, you cannot help but see the negatives about such an amazing place. I do exaggerate very much when I suggest it is amazing, but because I'm on schoolies, it's pretty good.
Whether it be a put on face when you reject someone regarding entering their store or turning down a little boy whose trying to sell you a bracelet for 20 000 rupiah ($2), the face of disappointment hits you pretty hard.
I don't really know what to say. Words don't really describe it and mainly it's hard to talk about because I cannot relate. Of course I've been hit by poverty. I lived in housing commission for a while but I have never experienced this type of poverty before so it seems to put my life into perspective.
There are teenage boys and men slaving away in the 33 degree heat digging holes and climbing unsafe construction sites to earn barely any money at all.
There are woman begging on the street for a dollar which to me, seems like pocket change. There are taxi drivers making 5 dollars of a 30 minute trip and there are chefs earning 5 dollars for a 3 course meal.
I went to vietnam in 2008 and I was perhaps too young to grasp an understanding of how bad people live. And despite all that, they tend to wear a smile on their face and live their life. I have a fear of living on anything less than an 80 000 a year salary. These people live on about 3-4000 a year which is just astonishing.

So I guess the way the saying goes, you win some you lose some. I have won a lot. I have gained a better understanding of what poverty and heartache is and I have seen what devastation people are living in. I have gone out, gotten drunk, kissed a few Boiz on da lipz and been drugged by a local. I have been climbed on, bitten and humped by monkeys. I have swam with many tropical fish and I have zoomed around on a scooter. I have swam around in a huge pit of foam with a few dozen hot topless boys and I have partied nights away.
You can have the schoolies experience and the cultural experience.
This place is actually amazing!

shhh, it's a secret

I have always hated reading. I hardly get through books I have to read for school and if I do, it's always with great struggle. However; I have found some joy in reading diary forms of books. Destroying Avalon is one of those books which I couldn't say I could read again but did read with interest. I never really got my pleasure out of published books though. This is awful, but because books bored me, I resorted to reading my step sisters diaries. I would go into her room when I was about 9 or 10, grab her diaries and just sit in my room and read them when I was home alone. I don't remember much of them to be honest, but there is one thing I did read in which I will probably never fail to remember. In her diary, she mentioned that she 'hooked up' with my brother. Before people jump to conclusion and assume I'm from Tasmania, they're not related at all. As I look back on it, it makes me realise that we all have secrets of our own. Ones that would be better left unknown by anyone but ourselves.

I have one secret that only the other person involved knows, and that's only if they remember. A secret that I know I will never unleash and will only be revealed if the other person chooses to. The secret will ruin my life, but I have entirely prepared for that and I am ready for when the day comes, if the day comes. But that is besides the purpose of this post. I am a fairly open person. I believe that if you have a story, you should share it so you can help other people. But it also displays your strength and I think that's important in aiding other people to understand you better. However; I never really thought it was possible that people can hold something to themselves. I always wonder if perhaps, I may be one of very few who hold onto something that no one knows about.

I can't say I know whether people hold onto stuff that the majority of people are unaware of because the majority of people don't go around publicising the fact that they have secrets. Often I consider whether it is better left unsaid but I have learnt through my 18 years of life that it usually is. I often persuade people into considering that 'it is better in than out' and I tell myself every day that this is the truth I follow.

On the night of my year 12 formal, I was heading home from the after party and I was on the nigh trider heading to the city so I could swap buses to head home. A boy, probably a few years older than me sat next to me and started talking about things. As we got off the bus in the city and were about to part ways, he said something to me. I didn't actually work out the answer until recently, but the riddle consisted of the following
If you have them, you want to share them, but when you share them, you no longer have them

I often don't know what to do. More often than not, I'm usually not doing the right thing. Perhaps, me keeping the secret is burdening the other person as much as it does to me. I think about it every day and despite the knowledge that telling someone would ruin my life, I come close to telling people.
The whole point is though, that I am just so curious to know if everyone has a similar thing. If most people have something that no one is aware of, or if it is rare in this day and age where people treat their experiences as disposables.

Whatever man, life is silly.

on a totally different note; I learnt yesterday how Victoria's secret came about. A man who was embarrassed about going into lingerie stores to buy his wife sexy underwear made the shop so people could discretely enter and purchase their goods. Pretty cool huh?

'Hey sis! wanna drive me to Echuca?' - 'as long as you don't drive me crazy!'

It's been a big week in the life of Sarah!
I started exams, turned 18, got my drivers license and on the second day of having that, drove to Echuca and back. For those who do not know how far that is, it's about 200 km each way and equals a total of about 7 hours of driving.

The reason for this extensive feat is all thanks to my step sister who lost her keys when camping out there over the long weekend. Subsequently, she had the leave the car up there (unlocked) and come back to Melbourne with her friends to pick up the spare keys and drive back up. So who better to ask than her 18 year old sister who has had her P's for 2 days? No one apparently! So we drove up together, i drove about 2.5 hours and she drove an hour. We pick up her car after quite a funny adventure. Cruising around the murray river banks in a small manual Echo, only to turn back to the main road 3 times as a result of thinking we had gone to far down the bank and then turn around again to try once more. Eventually, we made it to the car only to see a strange country hillbilly peeking through the drivers window of the unlocked station wagon. My sister, too scared to confront him, pushed me out the door and next thing I know, I'm standing there, hands on hips, asking him what he was doing. After establishing that he was not about to pull out his A-K 47, I walked up to him and discussed the situation. He stated he was 'getting the rego to call the coppas as there had been no movement on the campsite for a day' - Woah, such a terribly long time to set of a statewide search party down the River to find a dead body. So he left, my step sister packed the makeshift camp site up that was used to detract anyone from gaining any suspicion (like that worked) and we headed back home.

The purpose of stating such a terribly tedious, yet somewhat hilarious story is that on the way home, I, a two day probationary license holder was left to drive 3.5 hours and 200 km back to Melbourne, ALONE!
A long car trip provokes not just many speeding fines, which I'm sure I know have but also many thoughts. So as I drove in silence (because Echuca is just too far for any of the good radio stations to reach) it got me thinking about the good old stories we hear regarding hitting Kangaroos. My fav is the one about how you hit a kangaroo, it goes through your windshield, continues to 'kick' to try and get away and in turn, scratches half your face off. Such lovely thoughts when driving a 3 meter car through the eerie roads of Victoria.

The concept of this led to the concept of death. The fact that someone can just exist one day and be gone the next. Mind you, these thoughts were not just set on by road kill potential but also the TV show 'Long Island Medium' - possibly the best show out. It caused me to consider what happens when we die. I understand that TV is incredibly false but I think Theresa really convinces me that there is an after life where our spirits just chill. I can't say I've personally experienced anything of the sort, and not in the sense that I'm not dead so it's impossible but I mean experiencing someone I know who has passed. My father however, experienced his brother/my uncles presence on a daily basis. After he ran his car into a tree going 200 km an hour on purpose, Dad seemed to experience strange occurrences like his shredder at work turning on and off, his keys going missing when we both know where they definitely were and his radio randomly turning on to his brothers favourite song.

Because I am not an idiot, I do not believe in anything religious of the sort, I do however, believe that there may be an afterlife. And not in the religious terms as I just stated. I don't know what people believe, nor do I really care to be honest. Because I hate everyone. Most people, it's like arguing with a brick wall because as much as people hate to admit it, we're all stubborn in one way or another, some more than others. This doesn't change my opinion and it apparently doesn't change yours. I just believe that when we die, we all re-unite in the spiritual world, looking over our loved ones. This scares me a little bit. Does my Grandma see when I do things that she probably shouldn't be apart of, you know! those things!

Anyway, just because we all know what I was going at when I just said that, I have another quick story to tell.
On monday night, my friends and I were super bored and it was fairly late to do anything of value so we all decided to drive to the sex shop. After walking around for a while we found this weird arse vibrator that has beads inside which rotate. I mentioned to another friend that 'this would feel fucking weird' only the have the shop assistant/'sexpert' reply saying 'Trust me, it doesnt!'
We left in histerics after that.

so that's my random story
and random blog about the after life
hope you enjoyed
ily xoxo gossip god