I remember the time I discovered Santa was not real so vividly. I was in prep (or kindergarten as they like to call it in Sydney) and Santa had written us all letters. I was so excited to get mine and I remember the letter exactly. It was on a white A4 piece of paper, the centre was coloured in green crayon with a red crayon border and the writing was in black crayon. I read the letter which told me something along the lines of how I had been well behaved and Santa would bring me what I like if I continue to be this way. I was so excited that Santa would take the time out of his busy schedule to write me, Sarah a letter. Then, I put the letter on the table, writing side down and there, on the back, read the name of my year 6 buddy, Joshua. Unfortunately, I wasn't smart enough to realise that if I pretended to still believe in Santa, he would still come, so that was the last time the big red jolly fella came to visit my house.
In hindsight, prep was such an innocent year for everyone. We were too young to be held accountable for our actions and too young to understand most of them to.
At St Helens Park Primary Schools presentation evening of the year 2000, I was awarded with the schools 'science and technology award' and as a result, my name was carved into a plaque which now sits in the office foyer of the school. Frequently, I find myself wondering if people notice my name on that as much as I pay attention to the names that are printed onto the un-updated wooden boards that hang in the hall of my school now.
When people reflect upon their times as a little child, at face value they tend to label the period as 'simple and full of insignificant issues' but I do believe quite the opposite.
Perhaps being called 'stupid' and an 'idiot' sound rather trivial now but it is all a reflection of the path we travelled. Individuals often discuss how much they have changed in a certain period of time but the reality is that they're still that little human they were when they were 5. They still get treated the same way, just with more mature words like 'dumb fuck' and 'fat and ugly'. People change, yes! I am not denying that, but not everyone changes.
When I look back on being a child, I don't remember a lot. Some may say that's a good thing, I think it's bad. I do however, remember being a little girl living in a house with the most amazing father and brother anyone could ask for. I remember having the perfect family of three and although my dad worked very often and that has been the same my whole life, my brother did a pretty good job looking after me. I was happy. I was free. I was innocent. I WAS ME!
haha, then the evil step mother entered the life of Sarah but that's a whole different story.
